Janey: “So Honey, we’ve been asked by Luath Press to dae some promotion for the books, what dae ye think aboot that?”
Honey: “I think it’s a f****n’ cheek they didnae ask me tae be honest wi’ ye. But as long as am in the limelight, I’ll go wi’ it.”
Janey: “Well they’re calling this a takeover, so I get tae ask ye some questions, and ye can answer as honestly as ye like.”
Honey: “Pass over the chicken fillets and we can talk…”
*Hiatus whilst Honey gets fed*
Janey: “Now that that’s over with, what dae ye think is the best thing aboot the books yer bringin’ oot?”
Honey: “The fact that there’s one fur families and the kiddies, and one fur the adults who kin see whit trouble a get maself intae, and the trouble Janey puts me intae!”
Janey: “Ah huv’ absolutely nae idea whit yer talkin’ aboot”
*puts Honey in her best book promo outfit*
Honey: “There’s pics ah me in aw ma best lookin’ ootfits, wi’ Janey’s illustrations givin’ a runnin’ commentary wi’ aw the nonsense we get up tae… Basically me eatin’ and tellin’ her tae shut up and get me hame when she’s chattin’ tae folk fur hoors!”
Janey: “That sounds aboot right Honey… but whit aboot when you hit me in the f****n’ eye when I’m tryin’ tae sleep…”
Honey: “Listen we’re gie’in the people whit they want. A book aboot me, wi’ some of you in it (mostly me). A mean a ken a didnae write it, or dae the pictures, but it’s projectin’ me intae the public eye. A mean, am basically a celebrity noo”
Janey – “We cannae huv it gaun tae yer heed when yer gaun doon the park. But can ye tell the audience where ye can get it fae?”
Honey: “Fae aw good book stores. The nice people at Luath Press are havin’ an event at Waterstones fur oor launch oan the 27th of October. I’ll be there in ma pram (might be lucky enough tae get a new yin wi aw my profits), tae see aw the wee fans. But, they better no come tae close tae me, I am a celeb after aw.”
Janey: “Aye so that’s at Argyle Street, Glasgow. Whit else wid ye like tae say tae the people going tae buy yer book?”
Honey: “Yer in fur a treat. Noo, am off doon the park tae show off because am a writer noo… Janey, get the door”
Janey: “For fuc…”